Hey everybody. I just thought I'd update this blog and get some things off my chest. Right now, I'm suffering from a major combination of writer's block and insomnia. My head seems like it's unable to retain any new information due to the excess amount that's been crammed in over the last few weeks. So it looks like the xanga will be my saving grace once again.
There's so much I'm trying to get done this year, but I can't seem to stay focused on one thing. That's nothing new, but I guess admitting it in public is the first step to changing, right? Anyway, I really need a day planner or something. Reminders usually help me a good amount. Plus I like the feeling of having things on schedule. I think that's why I've been feeling so scattered lately. I have a lot of things planned, but there's no organization. Summer (post-Namco) has definitely spoiled me!
Part One of Three: Upcoming Games to Look Forward to: Xbox 360
A lot of my attention has been focused towards gaming though, namely, with my Xbox 360. I'm so glad I made the decision to buy one. I definitely can't wait to see how the other platforms perform when they are relased later this year. Things could go either way at this point. Sony has a great system on their hands, and they've certainly made some much needed improvements since E3. Unfortunately, they really need to work on their PR. Nintendo, in contrast, has taken a refreshing approach to gaming, although some people will be turned off by their refusal to implement high definition support (this is, after all, considered the HD era). Nontheless, I'm still really looking forward to the Wii. Microsoft is in the lead due to the extra year they had to set up shop, but they're struggling to gain a strong fanbase in Japan. Word has it that many of their games, including the highly acclaimed Dead Rising, aren't selling very well there due to homebrand loyalty (Sony). That, and the original Xbox left a rather bitter taste in their mouths. Luckily, they've learned some pretty valuable lessons from the last generation, and are undeniably going to pose some serious competition this time around with games like Mistwalker's Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey being developed to penetrate the Eastern demographic.
In case you didn't know, Mistwalker is a company made up of many former Square-Enix/Squaresoft designers including Hironobu Sakaguchi, who created the much loved Final Fantasy series. As a sincere gamer who's sick and tired of people trying to declare a winner of the console wars based solely on their preference, I'm going to make a list of some great looking titles to look out for on each next-generation platform (360, PS3, and the Wii). Hopefully, this will show some people that each system has their admirable strengths and that those who single out other consoles are only missing out. So, without any further ado, here's to the REAL gamers and the benefits we now have from being able to have our pick of one or all three exceptional system(s).
I'll be going by order of launch dates, so I'll start with the Xbox 360. Enjoy! Click on them to enlarge.
20. Tenchu Senran (Stealth/Action/Adventure)
19. Bullet Witch (Third Person Shooter/Action/Horror)
18. Banjo Kazooie (3D Platformer/Adventure)
17. Too Human (Action/Adventure)
16. Fable 2 (Fantasy/RPG)
15. 2 Days to Vegas (Action/Adventure)
14. Infinite Undiscovery (Action/Adventure/RPG)
13. Project Sylpheed (Shooter/Sci-Fi)
12. Viva Pinata (Sim)
11. Kingdom Under Fire: Circle of Doom (RPG/Action)
10. Alan Wake (Survival Horror/Mystery/Drama)
9. Lost Odyssey (Fantasy/RPG)
8. (US) Eternal Sonata/(JPN) Trusty Bell (Fantasy/RPG)
7. Bioshock (First Person Shooter/Horror/Mystery)
6. Blue Dragon (Fantasy/RPG)
5. Mass Effect (Third Person Shooter/RPG/Action/Sci-Fi)
4. Lost Planet (Third Person Shooter/Action/Sci-Fi)
3. Kane and Lynch (Third Person Shooter/Action/Crime)
2. Forza Motorsport 2 (Driving/Racer)
1. Gears of War (Third Person Shooter/Action/Horror)
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
This is a long rant, so bear with me or hit your back button. I'm frustrated and in no mood for your shit either, so if you don't want to read it, well...
So I'm dating a nice guy now and it SUCKS. No other way to explain it, it just SUCKS. He's no challenge. He agrees with everything I say. He's got it all though - a decent job, a nice house, no kids, no psycho ex-wives, and he's tall and cute. Anyone ever seen that Friends episode when Alec Baldwin played Phoebe's boyfriend?? YEAH, my boyfriend is THAT nice. He's just too fucking nice. Nice is boring. I've never heard him raise his voice. He's never aggressive. He has no edge. He won't even drive over the speed limit and that fucking annoys the shit out of me, yet I sit in the passenger seat and keep my mouth shut... watching everyone whiz by us.
And don't get me started on the sex. Oh, excuse me... making love. After he cums (note I didn't mention anything about ME cumming), he rolls over and says "Oh, that was nice" with a little sigh. I KID YOU NOT, he says it EVERY TIME and then he sighs like he has just woken from a refreshing nap. I finally got so tired of missionary and him looking lovingly into my eyes and smiling as he came, that I threw him down on the couch one night and mounted him. At first he was terrified - yes, TERRIFIED. He thought something had possessed me. And it HAD -- it was sheer MADNESS. I fucked the shit out of him that night. And then he sighed and said "Oh, that was nice".
Now that we had the cowgirl position conquered (always with that sigh afterwards), it was time to move on to doggie. His ex-girlfriend never did doggie (hmmm... maybe there's a "nice" ex-girlfriend to blame for his timid niceness?? That bitch...). Anyway, I digress. I tell him I want him to fuck me from behind. Yes, I used the word "fuck" and I didn't care what he thought about it. He gets behind me and enters me, and damned if he didn't say "OH, THIS IS NICE" !!! Are there any 35 y/o men out there that haven't smacked a woman's ass when doing her doggie?? YES, and he's my boyfriend!
Tonight during sex, I think I'm gonna tell him to stick his finger in my ass when I'm riding him. THAT should be interesting.
So for the nice guys out there, my advice is this: It's great that you're nice (to an extent), but have some backbone. Don't be a spine donor all your life. When your girl is out of line, say something. Don't let her walk all over you. Occasionally, be a "bad" boy (being bad doesn't translate to abusive or criminal). Say "No" to her sometimes. Raise your voice and be heard. Say something dirty/sexy to her occasionally. Drink a few too many beers and piss out in public. Smack her ass. Don't ever use the word NICE to describe things, especially sex (okay, that may be a personal pet peeve). Have an interest in at LEAST one sport (or pretend to). Drive 5-10 miles over the speed limit once in awhile. Run an old lady off the road just for kicks (yeah, I'm kidding about this one... just ride her bumper for a few miles). Be aggressive during sex. Take off those damn white socks and Jesus sandals. Grow a goatee for a few weeks. Shave your balls. Stray from your routine and shake things up.
BE A MAN FOR GOD'S SAKE... and the women will fall at your feet.
Whew... THAT FELT NICE.
from craigslist.org - truly my primary source of everyday hilarity
It's weird to think that when we were young, we just couldn't wait to get up on Saturday mornings. Now, most of us, already overloaded during the week from our jobs and school, spend most of that day either sleeping in or hell, even working some more. So, in the spirit of nostalgia, I'm doing a little tribute to those lost Saturday mornings of our youth -- where it wasn't about responsibility. It was about sugary cereals, superheroes, and not showering until after the cartoon lineup ended (okay, maybe that last one was just me). In any case, here are the opening credits to some of the cartoons I enjoyed when I was a little runt. Enjoy!
The Uncanny X-Men
An incredibly varied cast, top notch storyboarding, pitch perfect voice acting, and a still widely recognizable opening theme made the X-Men inarguably one of the best Marvel series ever to be shown on television. The fact that it was so faithful to the comics also made it a runaway hit with teenagers and adults. You hardly see shows that accessible these days.
Batman the Animated Series
Batman Begins wasn't the first to return the legendary hero to his dark roots during the post-Keaton era. Joel Schumacher, eat your heart out.
Mighty Max
Mighty Max may have started as a toy line and it may have been a cartoon aimed at kids, but it was also a highly memorable show that became notorious for its dark tone, graphic violence, and unnerving final episodes in which most of the main cast was killed.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Whistle this theme in public and someone is bound to crack a smile at you. I mean, who doesn't love the ninja turtles. They were practically icons during the nineties with their series, live action movies (the last one not included), video games, and so on. I'm sure it was also a very profitable decade for Pizza Hut as well.
Beast Wars Transformers
Undoubtably the best Transformers series next to generation one, although I'm not sure if it was broadcasted on Saturdays. I know Beast Machines was, but oh well. A great show nontheless.
Batman Beyond
Unlike most attempts at next generation storylines, Batman Begins retained the Frank Miller touch and kept to its roots while expanding in a whole new direction. Sadly, the time during which this incredible series was broadcasted signaled the oncoming end of the golden age for WB cartoons. Cartoon Network blew up around this time with shows like Samurai Jack.
Reboot
Another personal favorite. Just like Mighty Max, Reboot started as a lighthearted series, but grew significantly darker as the series progressed.
Animaniacs
Steven Spielberg contributed to the Saturday morning lineup with some of the most memorable animated series. The Animaniacs were no exception.
Freakazoid
Another of Spielberg's creations -- who quite possibly was high off his ass when he penned this. Nontheless, a great cartoon.
Tiny Toon Adventures
Pop culture references, tongue-in-cheek humor, comedic violence, and musical tributes? Just. Plain. Awesome.
Beetlejuice
You can't imagine how hard it was to find the English version of this opening on youtube. Apparently, it's very popular with the spanish speaking crowd. See? You don't have to wear clothes from Hot Topic to have good taste.
Superman the Animated Series
Everything about it was epic from the orchestrated opening theme to the storyline itself which ended with a huge glorious bang. It also paved the way for the Justice League.
Gargoyles
Another painful reminder of the wonderful products Disney used to produce. Damn bunch of sellouts and their catering to the tween demographic.
The Tick
Adult Swim. Take my friend Andrew's advice. Pick this up and add it to your lineup!
Spiderman
It wasn't the most faithful adaptation of the comic book, but it was still a great show.
Darkwing Duck
Damn. You. Disney.
Earthworm Jim
Earthworm Jim the video game and TV show? Sweet!
Sam and Max
Not very recognizable, but just as funny as The Tick, if not funnier.
Garfield and Friends If you were able to get up at the crack of dawn to watch this you, you were lucky.
